Statistics tell us that one out of every two marriages will end in divorce. Many that remain together will experience what the so-called experts have called “psychological divorce” – this is where a couple may live in the same home together but they are not experiencing the oneness or harmony which God intends for their marriage.
Good marriages are not built by two people who never do anything wrong. Good marriages are built by people who aren’t too proud to admit when they are wrong and try to make it right.
Some of the most important words that every married couple needs to learn to say regularly to each other are the words, “I was wrong. Will you please forgive me?”
God is in the process of developing the character of Christ in each of our lives. That’s why He has put you in the family you are in – with all their idiosyncrasies, faults, and personality quirks. And that’s one of the reasons why He’s given you your spouse. He wants to teach you the Christ-like qualities of forgiveness and meekness and humility and gratefulness – and married life will give you many opportunities to learn these qualities.
We are all in process. We are all in different stages of character development – that’s why we need to be tender and kind and patient with one another. Don’t focus on your spouse’s faults. God can take care of them in His own unique way and timing. Focus rather on your own character deficiencies and begin to take responsibility for your own wrong words, actions and attitudes.
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Always be open to what God is trying to do in your life through your spouse. Do you tend to react to the same things over and over again? Instead of reacting in anger and frustration, try and see your circumstances from God’s perspective. Is there a particular character quality that He is working to build into your life? Those contention points in your marriage can be the doorway to developing more of the character of Christ.
When you have learned the lesson that the Lord is trying to teach you, not only does it “please the Lord,” but there will be a new “peace” and harmony in your marriage relationship (Proverbs 16:7).
Morris Hull
Home Life Ministries
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